Parking in the Rear (Demon-Style)

In a recent article by the non-award winning magazine Charisma, writer Cedric Harmon asks the question we’ve all asked ourselves at one point or another: Can You Be Raped By the Devil?

The article follows ex-stripper Contessa Adams’s book Consequences where she talks about how, in her sleep, she used to get it on with demons–at least before she ‘found’ God.

Why must God ruin all the fun? (Nephilim, anyone?)

While completely insensitive to the real horror of flesh and blood rape perpetuated by humans, the fine folks at this ‘spirit-filled’ magazine (they are certainly full of something) make a strong connection between demon nookie and, apparently, Elton John. As the writer not-so-subtly suggests,  “Sometimes they (the demons) also lure people into homosexual behavior.”

But, you know, only sometimes. Like, when the incubus/succubus in question has been listening to The Village People or watching Tom Cruise movies.

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Speaking of which, this song’s for you, Capt. Dave. It always makes me want to “salute” you.

The guy at the fifty-four second mark definitely has a little Satan in him. On another note, Dave, the lyrics to this song leave me with all sorts of questions: Just where can I go to “search the world for treasure”? Or, to “skindive”? And, I know I need to “take a stand”, but “what am I going to do in a submarine”? Help me out, time’s a wasting, as, apparently, they’re “recruiting new seamen” everyday.

Further Reading:
  • Greg

    You should start writing for Charisma. Just make up nonsense about Satan and send it to them. Then you could sell more of your books–only for people to come to the realization they’ve been duped, leading them to think that you are the great deceiver. It’s a win/win, right?

    • theamishjihadist

      Oh. My. Thor. That is brilliant.

      I really, really think I’m going to do it. It’s too freakin’ genius not to work.