I’m Going to Jesus Camp! (And, quite possibly, hell): Five Questions with Becky Fischer

Big week here at The Amish Jihadist. We have with us one very special lady. It’s none other than children’s minister extraordinaire (though yet to make the cover of Rolling Stone), Becky Fischer! I thought about opening with the whole introduction thing, but then I was like, ‘Eh, that’s seems silly. They know who she is.’ (If not, follow this link to her website.) As you’re well aware, I do not respond to my interviewee’s comments. They... Read More

Parking in the Rear (Demon-Style)

In a recent article by the non-award winning magazine Charisma, writer Cedric Harmon asks the question we’ve all asked ourselves at one point or another: Can You Be Raped By the Devil? The article follows ex-stripper Contessa Adams’s book Consequences where she talks about how, in her sleep, she used to get it on with demons–at least before she ‘found’ God. Why must God ruin all the fun? (Nephilim, anyone?) While completely insensitive to the real... Read More

Not So New Cure for Homosexuality: Beat It Out of Them

Things are getting rowdy in my lovely home state of North Carolina. May 8th is coming. The date when NC will put into place (if the vote determines it) a law that defines marriage as between one man and one woman, and will ban any other type of “domestic legal union” such as civil unions and domestic partnerships–gay or straight. The consequences of such a move could be devastating. On a related note, check out this sermon clip below from Sean Harris, Senior... Read More

Show Me that Smile Again (Or, Mike Seaver Gets Boned)

Kirk Cameron is at it again. America’s leading . . . um . . . uh . . . wait, what . . . what has he done, again? What are his credentials? His area of expertise? Surely, there is a reason why his voice is being privileged over other human beings who are actually qualified to speak in the public arena. Hmm. Could it really be based on nothing more than his terribly trite and mawkish 80′s TV show in which his best friend’s name was ‘Boner’? [Aaahhh... Read More

Someone I Love is Gay?! (As Weezer states, “Say it ain’t so-oh-whoah-whoah-oh”)

“Are Christians supposed to employ the Christian side-hug on homosexuals or just not touch them at all?” I’ll be honest, I thought it was a legitimate question. I mean, given the amount of literature on curing homosexuality that my local LifeWay Bookstore carries I assumed the clerk would have an answer. “Are you trying to be a smart-aleck?” the clerk asked. “I wouldn’t exactly say I’m trying.” Outside of their books equating... Read More

Chick-fil-A Refuses to Serve Gay . . . Chickens

In an unprecedented response to gay rights advocates, Chick-fil-A is refusing to serve gay chickens to its largely heterosexual Christian clientele. When asked why they were refusing to debeak and massacre countless little baby chicks, who happen to share an attraction for one another, a Chick-fil-A representative claimed that it is “not in God’s plan for humans to have to digest gay chickens. What if some of that gayness doesn’t pass through the body? Where... Read More

God “Damned” Blackbirds!

Cindy Jacobs, who is known for her incredible supernatural powers of curing demons of lust, poverty, PMS, and homosexuality (check out my upcoming book, The Devil Wears Nada, for more details), is claiming that the blackbird debacle (can we call it a ‘massacre’ instead?) in Arkansas is God’s warning to us for allowing gay people the ‘right’ to kill their enemies (such a privilege, apparently, should be saved only for heterosexual Christians who have... Read More