The Adventures of Dean, Andy, and Jesus (as they pass through Hell)

If I had to take a guess as to the three most important, most beloved, most adored male figures in the history of my beloved home state of North Carolina, I would venture to guess that it would be Jesus, Dean Smith, and Andy Griffith. Though, not necessarily in that order. This, of course, adds much to my confusion. After all, in the past few years, NC has proven to be one of the most bigoted, hateful, Pharisaic, self-righteous, and, literally, ‘dumbed-down’ states... Read More

Jesus is Risen! (Gotta Work on My Tan)

Living at the beach, which, by the way, I highly recommend, is a bit much when it comes to the holidays. In terms of this nation-state’s liturgical holy days (Memorial Day, Fourth of July, Labor Day) I steer clear of the wandering masses that make their way to that mystical place where the water meets the land. I just really loathe the traffic (and the d-bags with their rented 8 foot long molded plastic Bic surfboards–I know, I know . . . I’m such an elitist).... Read More

Jesus and Justin Sitting in a Tree (or, ‘on’ a tree . . . oooh.)

In case you were concerned that your favorite pop rock stars were not holy enough, Justin Bieber has saved the day. He is now sporting two tattoos of his main man, Jesus. That’s right, Bieber’s true ‘common denominator’ (aaah) has proven to be Jesus! In an interview, Bieber said, “I focus more on praying and talking to Him. I don’t have to go to church.” (Ultimately, you have Martin Luther to thank for that one.) Doesn't Jesus look... Read More

Jesus Most Certainly Did Not Die For Ewoks or Gungans! (Only for Wookiees, Humans, and Twi’leks)

I was recently fortunate enough to be interviewed by the ever so interesting folks down at The Christian Post. This makes two interviews with them in the last few weeks. Yeah, I know . . . I wouldn’t trust me anymore, either. Unlike my previous interview, A Man’s Search for Satan, (kudos to them for correctly understanding my chromosomal alignment), this one wanted my opinion on Christian Weidemannon’s take on extra-terrestrial life and Christian theology. Well,... Read More

Prayer in School, Not Closets! (Jesus, you’ve been trumped again)

Ah yes, everything was so perfect back then. Women knew their place, blacks couldn’t attend schools, share bathrooms or eat with whites, it was kosher to be anti-Semitic, and after centuries of hard-work Native Americans were, finally, almost completely decimated. And more importantly . . . we had prayer in school! White kids praying to keep the 'negroes' out. It was very formative, that prayer in school. We were training and forming our children with such good... Read More

Not-So-Sweet Home Alabama (Martians, beware!)

Incredible. Alabama has now trumped Arizona in terms of bigotry toward the stranger. I didn’t think such a thing was possible. All of the fine upstanding moral Christians responsible must be proud . . . and incredibly ignorant of the Bible’s straightforward stance in relation to practicing hospitality to the stranger/exile/alien. Here’s just one example: When an alien resides with you in your land, you shall not oppress the alien.  The alien who resides with... Read More

On Being “Out-Christianed” By Bill Maher (“It’s not even hard work.”)

[youtube=] It’s really no surprise that an atheist like Maher interprets Jesus more faithfully than the average North American Christian, but still . . . it’s gotta sting a little. And I don’t even like Maher.  Read More

The (Parenthetical) Sayings Of Jesus

Twelve sayings of Jesus that, based on our practices, obviously must have included parenthetical remarks in the original text. 1. You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you (unless your generals, leaders, politicians, presidents, or anyone else for that matter, tell you to do otherwise). 2. But I tell you, do not swear an oath at all . . . Simply say ‘Yes’... Read More

RIP Johnny Storm–At Least You Can’t Burn in Hell

“Let’s do it for Johnny, man!” Normally, I despise killing in comic books (and not because I’m a Mennonite). I despise them because those who are killed, if they remain remotely marketable, are always resurrected (again, as a Mennonite I’m good with resurrection). It’s such a terrible way to create hype, to make money, and to prove one’s ‘hacking’ ability as a writer. Notice, I said, ‘normally.” Hickman’s... Read More

Hip, Chest, or Ankle?

I found this after being “inspired” by a bumper sticker saying, “Keep your hands off my Bible, Guns, and Values.” This does raise a significant theological question: Where does Jesus keeps his holster?  Read More