This has got to be the greatest thing I’ve ever seen. Please, tell me it’s for real. Seriously. It sounds like something my friend Zack Hunt would make up just to mess with people. If so, good job. You win.

It comes with a free hairbrush for all of your combing and beating needs!

It comes with a free hairbrush for all of your combing and beating needs!

If you’re unfamiliar with Christian Domestic Discipline, it’s some sort of ministerial ‘outreach’ (ahhh) program intent on teaching women how to submit to their husbands for the good of their marriage.

All right, off to a great start already.

The means by which they do this is to consent to being spanked by their husband when they’ve been bad.

I mean, real bad.

Oh, how I love this idea.

Just love it.

It’s so naughty.

It’s a shame my freaking wife is Jewish. She’s never going to convert now.

“Hey baby, you know you want some of my Jesus love. I have a paddle in the shape of a cross. Bend over for your Gentile daddy!”

It’s great to be a Christian.