Show Me that Smile Again (Or, Mike Seaver Gets Boned)


March 7, 2012

Kirk Cameron is at it again. America’s leading . . . um . . . uh . . . wait, what . . . what has he done, again? What are his credentials? His area of expertise? Surely, there is a reason why his voice is being privileged over other human beings who are actually qualified to speak in the public arena. Hmm. Could it really be based on nothing more than his terribly trite and mawkish 80’s TV show in which his best friend’s name was ‘Boner’?

[Aaahhh . . . me thinks he doth protest too much.]

From clearly not understanding how fruit is cultivated (aka, ‘The Atheist’s Nightmare’ or God creates penis-shaped fruit with a ”point at the top for ease of entry, just the right shape for the human mouth . . . and is even curved toward the face to make the whole process so much easier“) to now providing a non-biblical ‘biblical’ explanation of marriage (not to mention his misunderstanding of the word ‘natural’–he should probably check out the pansexual behavior of bonobos, along with countless other species that naturally enjoy themselves some same-sex nookie):



This little ditty below, by ‘America’s Best Christian’ (make sure you read the commentary on the bottom of the video as she is talking), is probably a more faithful account of a biblically-based marriage than the one above (and that’s not saying much for old Mike Seaver). Indeed, it would be an interesting conversation trying to figure out which one is more inaccurate.



And, hey, ”don’t waste another minute on your crying, we are nowhere near the end.”

Oh joy.

"Boner, stop staring at me like that--hey, is that . . . is . . . Boner, that better be a banana in your pocket!!!"