Ah yes, everything was so perfect back then. Women knew their place, blacks couldn’t attend schools, share bathrooms or eat with whites, it was kosher to be anti-Semitic, and after centuries of hard-work Native Americans were, finally, almost completely decimated.

And more importantly . . . we had prayer in school!

White kids praying to keep the 'negroes' out.

It was very formative, that prayer in school. We were training and forming our children with such good principles back when this country was run by God and God’s elect. It was a regular old Christian golden-age. Now, if we could only find some people willing to bring back those missed years by “putting” God back in school (impressive that humans can “do” anything to God), things could return to its original design as was intended by the forefathers (they were, after all, rich white misogynistic slave owners). It’s time for God-fearing Christian saints to rise, take back this land, and force our prayers upon every public institution we can find.  Pay no attention to that whole “praying in private” comment Jesus made. Unlike the religious hypocrites of his day, it’s good to flaunt our piety. We’re, obviously, so much different from those Pharisees Jesus was criticizing.

Ah, if only we could get back to those wonderful “Christian values” of a pre-1962 America. It had to have been awesome to have been a white male Christian back then.

Glad I missed it.