“Find God’s Match For You” (insert TM symbol, please–it’s very important to trademark God’s will). That’s what christianmingle.com claims to do for you. For a not-so-insignificant amount of money, these godly people (located out of the pious woods of Beverly Hills, CA) can help you find the person God wants you to have sex with for all eternity. You just have to pay for such information (no worries, God’s peeps take Visa and MasterCard). Only in the United States would the God of the entire universe be concerned about you finding your “soul-mate” (a pagan concept if I ever heard one), while more than a billion people on this planet are currently suffering from malnutrition, poverty, war, and disease.
Yet, God really, really, really wants you to find your significant other–so, ante up and let them aid you in your search.
After all, they quote Bible verses on their website so it has to be true. Just like it says in the Psalms (and on their website): “Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart.”
Does that include a witty little raven with 34 C’s?
I’m just so impressed that in a world filled with so much pain and suffering that God really wants me, that’s right, little ole’ me, to find my Christian mate. How sweet. I mean, while apparently taking a break from doing anything about AIDS, SIDS, cancer, global poverty, melting polar caps, the ongoing extinction of countless species, Rush Limbaugh, Mark Driscoll, or the Orioles abysmal pitching-staff, God exists in order to help wealthy North Americans find true love.
Now that’s an involved God.