Jim Rigby recently wrote an article titled Five Scriptures You Won’t Hear at Rick Perry’s Prayer Event that describes a number of passages that will most likely be ignored in Perry’s tribute to the tribal deity bound by the borders of this particular nation-state. While they were pretty good (I especially enjoy the “go to your closet and pray as opposed to those hypocrites who do it in public” passage–we could all learn from that one), I have added a few others:
1) Luke 6: 27-28: “But I say to you who listen: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, and pray for those who abuse use you.
Yeah, right. Sure, Jesus. Whatever you say, buddy.
2) Matt: 5:38-41: “You have heard that it was said, ‘Eye for eye, and tooth for tooth.’ But I tell you, do not resist an evil person. If anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to them the other cheek also. And if anyone wants to sue you and take your shirt, hand over your coat as well. If anyone forces you to go one mile, go with them two miles.”
That’s three verses in one you will never hear come out of the mouth of a “godly” presidential candidate. I mean, can you imagine Christians actually turning the other cheek, refusing to sue on another, or going the extra mile for those that oppose them?
Neither can I.
3) Luke 6:37: “Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven.”
Pfft. Silly Jesus. Nobody’s going to actually do that. You so crazy.
4) Matt: 20:25-25: Jesus called them together and said, “You know that the rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their high officials exercise authority over them. Not so with you. Instead, whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first must be your slave—”
I’m going to go ahead and assume that if you’re running for office, you’ve never read the above passage.
5) Ezekiel: 23:20: “There she lusted after her lovers, whose genitals were like those of donkeys and whose emission was like that of stallions.”
To be fair, you’ll probably never hear that one read . . . anywhere.
Just out of curiosity, how are Christians so easily duped by anyone with a decent hairline and a propensity to yell the word “God” louder than other people? I mean, does anyone who claim the mantle of ‘Christian’ actually read what Jesus demanded of his followers? Read the Sermon on the Mount and then tell me why any politician in the U.S., or most Christians for that matter, would ever be interested in a poor crucified Jewish rabbi from the first century who taught nonviolence and was deemed a traitor by the state. The man died a criminal, yet now he, mysteriously, endorses every Caesar running for office. And how do we know he endorses them? Well, the candidates tell us he does.
I’m guessing that’s all the proof most people will ever need.
""I love Jesus! Woo! Vote for me! (Can you kill Mexicans with this thing? I mean, you know . . . if you had to?)"