Amish quarrels, when they do happen, normally result in either reconciliation, banning and shunning, and/or just more Amish factions. Their founder, Jakob Ammann, discovered the non-reconciliatory end of hard-core Anabaptist living the hard way–that’s what you get for trying to dis’ us, fool!
The new trend is not so much to shun, but to, apparently, forcibly shave a person’s beard off. You know, if they refuse to agree with you over the ever so important doctrinal issue pertaining to buttons and zippers or, perhaps, 14th century Franciscan bowl cuts, then break into their house, hold ’em down and starting giving those kids a wig trim. Because, that’s how they roll . . . or buggy.
Honestly, I keep waiting for a reporter from The Onion to pop up saying, “Silly English. You’ll fall for anything.”
Yep. Anytime now . . . anytime.
So, thanks a lot, guys. Just when I was thinking about how punk rock you are in terms of nonviolence you gotta’ go and get all Catholic and Protestant on me.
Seriously, thanks a lot.
Take it away Weird Al’.