I was having a pretty stellar day until, oh, about eight minutes ago. I’d spent the afternoon surfing in the Outer Banks of North Carolina (my life is so hard) when one of my friends sent me the clip below. And as I’ve long told my students, “If something makes me miserable, it has to make you miserable, too”, I have no choice but to share this with you:

 

Are you ‘agin it’? He’s ‘agin it’! God’s ‘agin it’! You better be ‘agin it’, too! Otherwise, you may find yourself inside an electric fence with a bunch of lesbians.

Which, admittedly, doesn’t sound all that bad.

(Unless Ellen DeGeneres was there. I don’t get her. She’s not funny. Like, not at all. Why do people think she’s funny? How is that possible? I need to know.)

I'm thrilled you're gay, now try being funny.