It’s really tricky to find a solid rhyme for the word ‘eunuch’.
The word ‘futtock’ may be my favorite.
Anyway. While I was a T.A. for Will Willimon at Duke, I recall him saying something to the effect that until the church starts saying ‘no’ to heterosexual marriages it will not make any sense for the church to say ‘no’ to homosexual marriages.
That very well may be true. Of course, his comment could still be construed as leaving room for heterosexual marriage while, a priori, ruling out homosexual marriage–so that could be employed as just another excuse to limit the range of marriage. Granted, the church has, historically, always been about limiting marriage. That’s not, necessarily, a bad thing.
Alas, at least for this post, that’s not what interests me.
Rather, what interests me is how Christians justify marriage and how such justification is performed in their wedding ceremonies. I’ve discussed this elsewhere, and I’m not really that much in the mood to rehash arguments for the superiority of singleness. I assume my theologically astute readers are well aware of the church’s historically rich understanding of how singleness is the norm by which marriage is a practice requiring justification.
(Plus, my fiancee could be reading this . . . so, you know, um . . . I just wanna say, “Hey baby! You know I hate that mean ol’ ugly singleness! What a bastard that guy. Here you go: this song’s for you.”)
Let’s, therefore, skip to the chase: for those of you who are married, or for those of you who officiate marriages, how do you do it in a theologically rich and non-apologetic way (that is, not only what informs your decision to marry but how is that performed in the actual wedding ceremony)? After all, the Old Testament is an absolute disaster when it comes to marriage (rape, incest, polygamy and, for the most part, women are little more than a commodity to be bartered–it’s all good for God’s chosen men) and the New Testament strongly recommends celibacy. Paul thinks marriage is for those who can’t keep it in their pants and Jesus seems to think voluntary castration is superior to marriage, so, again, how do you justify it, and when you do justify it, what kind of theology informs your wedding service?
Abelard, who was, clearly, not ready to ‘accept’ what Jesus had to say about castration (as interpreted by Heloise’s uncle).
I’m assuming many people pretty much ignore most of what Jesus and Paul said about marriage and the family and just focus on those things that fit their need to bless what they were planning on doing anyway. And hey, that’s no judgment, I just want to know what kind of theological service you have that actually incorporates what folks like Jesus and Paul did say about marriage. And I mean that more than just repeating Jesus’s, ‘For this reason a man leaves his mother and clings to his wife’ line or the ongoing butchering use of Paul’s Corinthians passage. I’m interested to see how people take into consideration their overall ‘ethic’ (if there is such a thing) of marriage and the family, and how that functions in a worship service known as a wedding.
On a slightly related note, I’m looking for a comment I once read in the Nicene or Post-Nicene writers on how marriage is actually a more difficult road to bear than singleness because in marriage you must always look at your beloved with the awareness that he/she will die.
Whew . . . such romanticism just makes me feel all warm inside!