A few weeks back, I suggested that star-ratings might not be terribly useful when it comes to understanding a critic’s view of a film.
Case in point: On Amazon.com, you’ll find that several viewers have rated The Orphanage, the widely celebrated horror movie directed by by Juan Antonio Bayona and presented by Guillermo Del Toro, with only one star. That lonely star will probably convince you that these reviewers are not recommending the movie, so you’ll move on to make a different choice.
Ah, but there is so much to be learned from looking past the star rating and considering the content of the review!
Here are three of the one-star reviews given to The Orphanage on Amazon. Read carefully, and your eyes will be opened.
Here are a few comments from Tracy:
Very unhappy with this movie, I didn’t know it was written in spanish, will not order any more movies from amazon. I didn’t even watch the movie. It was a waste of money. We live in the USA not Mexico
You see? Tracy brings her review to life by investing it with her own particular voice. She explains that she was “very unhappy with this movie,” and then points the finger squarely at the problem: “I didn’t know it was written in spanish.” Thus, she admits that the problem with the movie is actually not a problem with the movie, but a problem of ignorance. (After all, Amazon.com does report that the DVD provides not one but three audio tracks – Spanish (Dolby Digital 2.0 Surround), Spanish (Dolby Digital 5.1 EX), Spanish (DTS ES 6.1). Amazon also lists the names of the Mexican filmmakers, and plainly reports that the film offers English subtitles.) A brave confession.
But she doesn’t stop there. She informs us that if she known it was in Spanish, she would have avoided the movie altogether. And she points out that “we” (customers of Amazon) live in the U.S.A., not Mexico. As we all know that the U.S.A. is a one-language nation, we should be able to go through our days without being subjected to the offense of the Spanish language in our films. One can only imagine the trauma this woman suffered.
Plus, she sets an example for us all that will save us money during a time when we’re all a little short of cash.
And what is more: she reacts by refusing to give any more business to Amazon. She punishes Amazon because she did not see information that is plainly published on Amazon’s page for The Orphanage. I am inspired by her activism! Voting with your feet! Amazon has, I’m sure, learned its lesson.
Do you see what I mean? You would not have enjoyed the benefits of this review by just checking the star-rating.
Not convinced? Let us seek a second opinion.
Behold, Midge is not happy either. Here’s an excerpt from her rant:
This movie is in Spanish only and this director & his producer need to be boycotted on any movie they make. False advertising. They have the DVD cover and title in English… but to watch the movie, you either have to read subtitles or closed captioning. It is a sham to use false advertising to sell to unsuspecting shoppers. They did the same thing with Pans Labrynth.
It also would not have been a huge imposition on the director and producer to provide an Alternate English audio option like we do on our English speaking movies. This is the second and last time this director will ever sell any movies to me. I will never buy another of his movies even if every movie he makes from this point on is in English… because he’s used up any trust we may have had. So when his career goes in the dumper in the US… don’t blame the economy. Blame yourself for deceptive advertising and printing the DVD cover in English. If the cover and title had been in Spanish to begin with, we wouldn’t be so irate because we would not have bought it in the first place. I have thousands of movies in my collection but this will be the last time this director ever darkens my viewing.
I have nothing against Spanish. In fact I lived in Panama for 2 years.. but I don’t want my movies in Spanish and I certainly don’t appreciate the deliberately deceptive False English DVD cover and Title to make us think the movie is in English.
If any of our US producers or Directors put a Spanish label and Spanish Title on a DVD cover and tried to pass it off to the Spanish speaking countries … and then only had the movie in English or French… I suspect their consumers would be very angry as well.
They wouldn’t like it anymore than the Germans would want to watch a movie in Arabic or Chinese.
Persuasive, to say the least.
Remarkable: Not only does Midge give us a critique of the movie, but she also analyzes the marketing effort.
Further, because of Midge, I have learned something I didn’t know before. I didn’t know that Germans have an aversion to the Arabic and Chinese languages.
Midge has made a bold prediction: The director of The Orphanage is going to come to ruin at the box office because, well… he’s following the example of other failures. Like Guillermo Del Toro, whose decision to film Pan’s Labyrinth in Spanish laid waste to his hopes of ever making a movie again. The poor man is paying for his crimes by working on some throwaway B-movie project called The Hobbit, and is likely to fade into obscurity.
There’s more to her review, but in case you are still feeling a strange, self-destructive urge to rent The Orphanage, let me offer up a third one-star condemnation to seal the deal.
…..You have got to be kidding me!!!! How are so many people rating this movie so good? It may be a great movie, but not if I have to read the whole damn thing!!!! Am I missing something here? I went thru all controls and found nothing in english without subtitles. Is there an english version of this movie that I dont know about? …..unbelievable!!!
Before the age of the Internet… before customers could post their own opinions on sites like Amazon… we were cut off from such insights, and were forced to read the opinions of so-called “professional” film critics in things like newspapers. (Do you remember newspapers?) But now things have changed. We don’t need these puffed-up personalities. We don’t have to pretend that actually having studied the art of film really counts for anything. We can see that anybody can write film reviews, and one opinion is as good as the next.
So… now that I know not to waste my time with The Orphanage, I cannot wait to see what my new cinematic guides do recommend! I live in the U.S.A. The more I can do to insulate myself against encounters with other cultures, languages, and perspectives, the better.
(Thanks to Adam Walter for passing these along.)